What are the behaviours to look out for?  This list is not exhaustive.  Someone who carries out abuse will pick vulnerabilities and tailor make behaviours to suit the circumstance.

Using Intimidation – Any behaviour that makes you feel like you are walking on eggshells.  This could be a gesture, a look, an act or a couple of words.  It could be silence, reprimanding a pet or a child, handling a knife, throwing a meal you have cooked on the floor.

Emotional Abuse – Verbally abusing you, name calling, putting you down in front of others, lying, gaslighting, cheating, making you feel guilty, blaming you for something you haven’t done, ignoring you, giving you the silent treatment

Isolating you – controlling who you see, preventing you from seeing your friends and families and going to work, monitoring all your activities, controlling activities outside the house, using jealousy to justify actions

Stalking you – turning up where you are unexpectedly, unwanted commenting on social media, turning up at your house or place of work, following you in the car, sending you unwanted gifts or flowers

Minimising – making light of the abuse, flipping it so you think its your fault, joking about it, making you feel if its normal

Using Male Privilege – defining household roles, making you do all the housework, cooking, child care responsibilities, making up rules for you to follow

Using Financial Abuse – controlling your money, running up debts in your name, spending food or bill money, not letting you access the bank account or benefits

Using Threats or Coercion – threatening suicide if you leave, making you do something illegal, threatening to post pictures of you online, threatening to cheat on you, threatening to hurt someone you love.

Using Children – Threatening to take the children away, threatening to hurt the children if you don’t do something, telling the children things about you, relaying messages through the children.

Using Pets – threatening to hurt/kill your pet

Using Physical violence – hitting, punching, kicking, biting, burning or choking you

Using Sexual violence – forcing you to have sex, forcing you to have sex with others, taking pictures without your consent, threatening to post them online, forcing you to watch porn, making sexual comments about you to others

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