top of page

Types Of Domestic Abuse

Psychological & Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuse is a tactic used by an abuser to diminish your self-worth. Sometimes it's subtle and hard to recognise but emotional abuse can cause serious harm and can escalate to physical violence. In the year ending 2025, emotional abuse was the most prevalent type of domestic abuse (source: Crime Survey for England and Wales (CSEW) from the Office for National Statistics).

 

Emotional abuse can include: 

​

  • criticism, name-calling, insults, manipulation, putting you down

  • telling you what to do, where to go and what clothes to wear

  • threatening to hurt you or your loved ones

  • making you doubt your own thoughts, feelings and perception of reality; this is sometimes called gaslighting

  • threatening to report you to agencies such as the police or social services if you don’t do as they say

  • making you feel guilty or ashamed about certain aspects of your life

  • blaming you for the abuse and saying it's your fault

Financial  & Economic Abuse

Economic abuse is a tool that's often used by an abuser to keep control of their partner, ex-partner or family member and to make it impossible for them to leave and/or maintain a life without them. This is when an abuser controls your money and finances and the things that money can buy such as food, clothing and transport. It usually happens alongside other types of abuse. Some examples of financial/economic abuse include:

​

  • Controlling the household income and expenditure

  • Refusing to contribute to the costs of running a home or looking after children 

  • Stealing your money or property

  • Withholding your wages or benefits 

  • Taking birthday money or savings belonging to children

  • Restricting your access to work, training and/or education

  • Restricting your access to transport

  • Restricting your access to your phone/digital devices

  • Creating debt in your name 

  • Controlling your savings or bank account​

This tool from the Surviving Economic Abuse website explores different types of economic abuse

Economic Abuse Wheel

Physical Abuse

Examples of physical abuse include slapping, hitting, shoving, punching, biting, pushing, kicking, scratching, burning, hair pulling, choking, strangulation, forcibly holding you down or using weapons or objects to hurt you. Over time it can escalate, becoming more severe and happening more often. Perpetrators are often apologetic or persuasive afterwards, they may make excuses for their behaviour and refuse to take responsibility for their abusive words and actions and the harm they've caused. 

 

On average two women are killed each week by their partner or former partner in England and Wales and three women each week take their own lives as a result of domestic abuse. These statistics and others can be found here How widespread is domestic abuse? - SafeLives

​

Coercive and controlling behaviour can have a serious effect on a victim, it usually involves a pattern of behaviour that restricts your freedom and choices. It can impact your ability to make decisions and create dependency on the abuser; it can include:

​

  • Excessive jealousy

  • Isolating you from your family, friends or your support network 

  • Making threats to harm you, your family members, pets or property / threats to kill themselves 

  • Restricting your access to medication, hospital appointments or healthcare 

  • Using social media or technology to control, monitor or harass you

  • Using your gender or sexual orientation as a means of intimidation or harm

  • Using your immigration status as a form of control

  • Threats of neglect or being put into care for older victims 

  • Using children and access to children as a weapon

Coercive & Controlling Behaviour 

In 2015 coercive control in intimate or family relationships became a criminal offence in England & Wales (Serious Crime Act, 2015). If somebody is subjecting you to any form of controlling and coercive behaviour, you can report it to the police.

​​

This leaflet from the Rights of Women website provides information about coercive control 

What is coercive control? : Rights of Women 

Stalking and harassment is considered domestic abuse if it happens by somebody who is personally connected to you, such as a partner, ex-partner or family member. Stalking is a pattern of repeated or unwanted attention that makes you feel scared, threatened or distressed, it may include watching somebody, following them or spying on them. If it happens two or more times it may be a criminal offence, so please reach out and ask for support. If safe to do so, keep texts and emails and all forms of communication and log what is happening, this may help you to apply for a civil injunction or protection order.

 Harassment can include:

  • ​Forcing contact with you 

  • Unwanted, abusive or offensive texts or phone calls

  • Persistently sending unwanted gifts or flowers

  • Harassing you through email or social media

  • Threatening to share your personal, sensitive or private information or photographs

  • Monitoring your communication 

  • Harassing other people who are close to you with the intention of alarming or frightening you

  • The threat of physical or sexual violence 

Stalking & Harrassment

If you or somebody else is in immediate danger, always call 999.

 

For advice on stalking, you can call The National Stalking Helpline: 0808 802 0300

 

   We can help you to report to the police if this is what you want, stay safe online and/or put a safety plan in place to protect you and your children, please call us on 01267 238410, Option 1 and speak to our team.

Sexual abuse is any form of sexual activity that takes places without your consent, this can include forced kissing, touching or penetration. It can also include:

​

•forcing you to watch or act out pornography

•degrading you during sex

•filming and distributing sexually explicit images without your knowledge and/or consent 

•using guilt, threats or manipulation to make you go along with their sexual demands

•having unwanted sex with you whilst you are under the influence of drugs, alcohol or medication

•restricting your access to birth control 

​

​​If you've been forced, pressured or coerced into any form of sexual activity, this is not consent.

This video explains what consent can look like.

Sexual Abuse

Sexual abuse can be difficult to talk about. We're here to help you. Please contact us on 01267 238410 to book a confidential appointment. We'll listen to you without judgment and help you to explore your feelings and next steps.

Online or Digital Abuse

Perpetrators of domestic abuse frequently use online tools to cause harm and distress to their victims. If safe to do so, we advise you to protect your devices and browsing history to help prevent abusers from:

​​

  • Checking your texts and accessing your email accounts 

  • Controlling your bank account 

  • Monitoring or tracking your location 

  • Using your social media accounts without your permission 

  • Sharing or threatening to share intimate pictures, videos or personal or sensitive information without your consent (this can be a criminal offence under the Sexual Offences Act, 2003)

  • Using spyware (malicious software) to track you

​

Remember, you have a right to privacy online and offline, use strong passwords and change them straight away if you're worried your abuser may know them. It's also a good idea to learn how to turn off location services in your phone’s apps and settings - only do this if it's safe to do so. ​​​

For more information about staying safe online, including information for teens and young people, please visit:

Cover your tracks online - Women’s Aid

Staying safe online - LoveRespectLoveRespect

Online and digital abuse - LoveRespectLoveRespect

Get Safe Online | The UK's leading Online Safety Advice Resource  

The Cyber Helpline 

Secure your tech from abuse - guides | Refuge Tech Safety ​

bottom of page