Help For Someone Else

Are you concerned about a friend, colleague or family member?

If someone tells you that they're experiencing domestic abuse, or if you're concerned about a friend, colleague or family member, you can let that person know you're worried about them and that there is support available for them.

It's common for abusive people to isolate their partner, ex partner or family member to take away the survivor's choice and control. Don't blame them for the abuse, acknowledge that they're in a frightening and difficult situation and support them to make their own decisions. They may need time and encouragement to come to terms with the abuse and this can be a long process. Let the person know that you're there to offer emotional and practical support when they're ready. Show you understand by listening and using supportive language.

It's also important to remember there may be limitations to what you can do and confronting the perpetrator may cause the abuse to escalate. Do not put yourself in danger.

How You Can Help Somebody Else

Remember that the victim is not responsible for the abuse and only the abuser can stop the violent or abusive behaviour, but these things might increase their safety:

Listen - don't judge or blame, and give a safe space to talk. Don't push for too much detail if they don't want to tell you.

Acknowledge and validate - ask them what's going on and how they've been coping with the abuse, encourage them to talk about their feelings, let them know you're worried.

Tell them they're not on their own; other people experience domestic abuse too.

Ask what you can do to help? Is the person hurt and in need of medical assistance such as a GP or hospital?

Don't tell them to leave the relationship - this has to be their decision, and it might not be safe to do so. Ending the relationship does not always end the abuse.

Offer your help to report the abuse to the police or other professionals, if this is what they want.

Be ready to give information about local organisations such as Carmarthen Domestic Abuse Service, that can provide support and information around safety planning.

Tell them about the Live Fear Helpline, for anybody affected by domestic abuse and sexual violence, telephone: 0808 80 10 800 (24/7).

Be supportive where you can - offer to look after an emergency bag or keep copies of important documents such as passports, driving licences and medical information.

Keep yourself safe - don't put yourself in a dangerous situation. Don't let yourself be seen as a threat to the abuser.

Remember in an emergency phone 999

Be patient, it can take many attempts to leave and ending a relationship is a big decision. It's also common for abusive people to use children and child contact as a means of control. Maybe they're hoping things will change and don't see themselves as a survivor of domestic abuse. They may feel worried about coping on their own or believe the abusive things they've been told about themselves, reducing their skills and confidence. They might not be ready to leave or believe there's justification for the abuser's behaviour. Reassure them that nobody deserves to be abused or hurt.

This video by Welsh Women’s Aid explains how to listen to a survivor and validate their concerns, and how to share information such as Silent Solutions.

Our Safeguarding Policies

CarmDAS is committed to creating a safe and positive environment and accepts our responsibility to safeguard the welfare of all adults, children and young people we are involved with, in accordance with legislation and in line with our trauma-informed and needs led approach.

Our Safeguarding Policies are under review, please email info@carmdas.org for more information.

Safety in Public Places

At CarmDAS we invite people 18+ no matter what their background, gender or identity to become a community ambassador, to learn about domestic abuse and know how to respond to both victims and perpetrators. If you would like more information about this programme, please contact our training and engagement team on 01267 238410.

Office: 01267 238410
24 hour helpline: 01267 234725

Help For Someone Else

Are you concerned about a friend, colleague or family member?

How You Can Help Somebody Else

Remember that the victim is not responsible for the abuse and only the abuser can stop the violent or abusive behaviour, but these things might increase their safety:

Listen - don't judge or blame, and give a safe space to talk. Don't push for too much detail if they don't want to tell you.

Acknowledge and validate - ask them what's going on and how they've been coping with the abuse, encourage them to talk about their feelings, let them know you're worried.

Tell them they're not on their own; other people experience domestic abuse too.

Ask what you can do to help? Is the person hurt and in need of medical assistance such as a GP or hospital?

Don't tell them to leave the relationship - this has to be their decision, and it might not be safe to do so. Ending the relationship does not always end the abuse.

Offer your help to report the abuse to the police or other professionals, if this is what they want.

Be ready to give information about local organisations such as Carmarthen Domestic Abuse Service, that can provide support and information around safety planning.

Tell them about the Live Fear Helpline, for anybody affected by domestic abuse and sexual violence, telephone: 0808 80 10 800 (24/7).

Be supportive where you can - offer to look after an emergency bag or keep copies of important documents such as passports, driving licences and medical information.

Keep yourself safe - don't put yourself in a dangerous situation. Don't let yourself be seen as a threat to the abuser.

Remember in an emergency phone 999

Our Safeguarding Policies

Safety in Public Places

Privacy Policy

Help For Someone Else

Are you concerned about a friend, colleague or family member?

How You Can Help Somebody Else

Remember that the victim is not responsible for the abuse and only the abuser can stop the violent or abusive behaviour, but these things might increase their safety:

Listen - don't judge or blame, and give a safe space to talk. Don't push for too much detail if they don't want to tell you.​​

Acknowledge and validate - ask them what's going on and how they've been coping with the abuse, encourage them to talk about their feelings, let them know you're worried.

Tell them they're not on their own; other people experience domestic abuse too.

​​Ask what you can do to help? Is the person hurt and in need of medical assistance such as a GP or hospital?

Don't tell them to leave the relationship - this has to be their decision, and it might not be safe to do so. Ending the relationship does not always end the abuse.​

Offer your help to report the abuse to the police or other professionals, if this is what they want.

Be ready to give information about local organisations such as Carmarthen Domestic Abuse Service, that can provide support and information around safety planning.

Tell them about the Live Fear Helpline, for anybody affected by domestic abuse and sexual violence, telephone: 0808 80 10 800 (24/7).

Be supportive where you can - offer to look after an emergency bag or keep copies of important documents such as passports, driving licences and medical information.​

Keep yourself safe - don't put yourself in a dangerous situation. Don't let yourself be seen as a threat to the abuser.

Remember in an emergency phone 999

Our Safeguarding Policies

Safety in Public Places

Privacy Policy

Listen - don't judge or blame, and give a safe space to talk. Don't push for too much detail if they don't want to tell you.

Ask what you can do to help? Is the person hurt and in need of medical assistance such as a GP or hospital?

Don't tell them to leave the relationship - this has to be their decision, and it might not be safe to do so. Ending the relationship does not always end the abuse.

Be supportive where you can - offer to look after an emergency bag or keep copies of important documents such as passports, driving licences and medical information.